The Possible Self Resolutions -Coffee or not?
To-day is Imbolc day or St. Brigid’s Day, which marks the beginning of Spring in the Celtic calendar. It’s half-way between the winter solstice and the spring equinox. Look it up here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imbolc if that catches your interest. It’s a great symbolic day to begin the TPS blog!
It was grey and miserable yesterday and today the majestic sun rises once more over the Mediterranean Sea at 7.30am, and sets the stage for another new day of possibility for the self. I should say at the beginning of this blog that I am referring to the positive aspects of the possible self. The human species can commit the most atrocious acts on themselves, to those around them and in the natural environment. We want to promote, nurture and explore the complete opposite to such awfulness. I prefer to focus uniquely on the positively possible!
Let’s start with what might be a very insignificant event of mine to-day……..
I had made a resolution to stop drinking coffee:
I tried it on New Year ’s Day… it didn’t happen;
I tried it on Chinese New Year ’s Day… it didn’t happen.
So, what happened on Celtic Spring Day? I still wanted coffee! Last night, I hid the pot and the coffee…….as tough you can hide it on yourself…… when you know where you put it! I could have chosen to find it …..because I knew where I hid it…..but I didn’t. What helped is that there was no milk in the fridge, which helped me to stick to my decision that I had made…. had there been milk in the fridge, I would have made the coffee.
So my possible self decided that I should give up coffee and hid the pot and the coffee. The old self said I would like a coffee, because I feel like it, and it’s a beautiful morning, and I could read the papers online before I begin work, and savour the aromatic moment.
The old self knew I was going to the village later on in the day, so I could have one there, after all, the possible self didn’t say ‘where’ I could not have the coffee……. home or out……. so the old self that wanted the coffee was smiling!
Once I have a first one, I find it difficult not to have a second cup of coffee. Actually, let me be honest here….. I have a mug for my coffee that my daughter bought me with lots of sheep on it……true….sheep! Anyhow, the mug is the equivalent to two cups….and normally I have a second mug, which is blacker than first, as it has had time to brew……… two mugs and my heart is racing, which is not good for my nervous system…..and I get irritable and speedy……and I am speedy enough as it is. I have tried the decaffeinated coffee and its not the same…………so, I went back to the real thing………ground beans and percolated coffee every morning. I did try having a one shot percolator pot but that was a complete waste of time. The pros and cons went on in my mind, over and over.
So, I have the choice to finally listen to the possible self who is telling/suggesting/wishing the old self to give up coffee. The possible self has been listening to me over the years say that coffee is making me ill. Friends say “one cup won’t hurt, and you know what, coffee is good for you etc.” It’s not about them making me feel good about my relationship with coffee. It’s my relationship with coffee that is the bug bear. I work from home, so I always find the pot and the coffee, it’s never that far out of reach!
I am a disciplined person when I want to be. So, is it that I don’t want to be disciplined about not drinking coffee ? Is it that I have not found a habit that is as good to the smell and taste? Or is it that the weight of the voice that says…‟It won’t kill you and you love it, so why give it up?” Or is it that the irritability and getting more speedy is not bad enough for me to give it up? It’s all of that and more. Maybe, the old self has heard enough from the possible self on coffee and says thank you but no thank you this time round. Is it really important to me to stop drinking coffee? I know I will feel better in every way when I succeed in doing what my possible self is telling me. So yes I will do it. One day at a time is my resolve for
This dialogue is what we all experience between the old self and the possible self. When we are totally honest with ourselves, we know that we have lots of possibility for improvement and adventure, primarily for ourselves, and those around so benefit too. Our happiness and wellbeing of mind, body and spirit is our responsibility. The possible self is always there making suggestions:
if you want to be healthier and fitter maybe you should eat more nutritious food and exercise -nourish your body
don’t stuff it;
if you want to have loving and caring relationships with your partner, friends and family put in the time: learn to truly
listen and communicate;
if you want to have a garden of flowers or vegetables : turn off the tv and put in the time;
if you want to work out what stops you from achieving your goals: do the research and put in the time;
if you want to explore and discover your past and where you are going: do the research and out in the time………..
It’s easy to sit on the bar stool and discuss the possible self…..what you could be and do……. but it’s the doing that only matters in making you feel good about who you are and what you are capable of…..even in giving up coffee……now I will think about what I will replace it with…….. Any suggestions?