The Possible Self ‘Exploring Self-Esteem’

Good Morning from another sunny and wintery day in the south of France.
No Coffee and it’s my third day.  How good is that!  I was tidying the kitchen and I have taken the coffee pot from its supposedly ‘hiding place’ and have it sitting on the work top as it always was.  The coffee is in the cupboard and get this I bought more coffee without thinking about it while food shopping yesterday evening, two packs!  The coffee story has a long way to go………..

Yesterday, I wrote about smiling and its effect on our self-esteem.  I had an email from a reader in the US this am who said that she put a photo of herself wearing a really big smile on her computer at work and it kept her smiling every time she looked at it during the day and she felt really good about herself despite all the difficulties she is having at work…: “It is a pause to remind me I am a good and loving woman”.  It’s infectious.   It’s a real prop to remind ourselves that we are worth the effort.

You might be blue, worried about money, a fight you had with someone, weight you put on, your child’s homework, the state of the nation, going bankrupt, whatever it is that occupies that place in you and cripples you at times, take out the photo, look at the photo and know that you always have the possible self if you choose to listen or spend time seeing what is possible for you by you.  Maybe write that on the back of the smiling photo..: “what is my possible self saying?”

In the Oxford dictionary self-esteem is cited as: ‘confidence in one’s own worth or abilities: self-respect.   What concept do you have of yourself?   What confidence have you in your own worth and abilities?

How do you rate yourself?

Let’s explore the abilities and attributes a human being can have and then you can evaluate which and to what level you have practice them:

For each one of these, rate yourself somewhere between 0 and 100%

I am a kind person all the time! =>100%
I just don’t know how to be kind! =>0%

I am a loving person all the time! =>100%
I simply don’t know how to love! =>0%

I am self-loving all the time! =>100%
I don’t have any love for myself! =>0%

You get the picture, so do that which each of the following questions :

I am a caring person.

I am an honest person.

I am a deceptive person.

I am a person of integrity.

I am a generous person.

I am a controlling person.

I am a righteous person.

I am a sad person.

I am a reliable person.

I am an emotionally stable person.

I am a financially secure person.

I am a good parent.

I am a good father/mother.

I am a good daughter/son.

I am a good colleague.

I am a good grandparent.

I have a fit and healthy mind and body.

I have great imagination.

I have a creative mind.

I am a good lover.

I am a good partner, husband/wife.

I am a good sports person.

I am a peaceful person.

I am a joyous person.

I am a playful person.

I am an approachable person.

I am a happy person.

They are just some of the personal characteristics we try to achieve in our lives… are you doing?  Just scoring these roughly will give you some idea of the areas of your life you are happiest with… and those that you feel could be improved!

Over the next weeks we will take each attribute of character and see what it means to be ‘good’ and to develop attributes that are important to us and the people in our lives.

In the mean time keep smiling and you and I will explore what we have to be esteemed about in ourselves.

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