The Possible Self ‘Self-Esteem and Self-Kindness’

The Possible Self  -exploring the attributes of self esteem ‘Self-Kindness’

The stage is set for a brand new day.  There is no rehearsal, it’s the live event and you are the scriptwriter, actor and director of proceedings……

It’s my seventh day without coffee and this is the dialogue going on in my mind:
The Present Me:  I would absolutely love a coffee
The Possible Me:  You complained about the after effects of drinking it for years, and I suggested that giving it up would be an option. You made the decision to be healthier and that is important to you, so why the monkey mind?
The Present Me:  Because I miss it. Because you only live once, because.…
The Possible Me:  That’s ok to miss it, it’s a valid feeling, so go on missing it until you don’t. There will always be reasons not to follow through on your resolutions and decisions….always!  You now that!
The Present Me:  Ok!  I am in a whiny mood.
The Possible Me: You know you can do it.  Making the decision was big, the space between doing and following through is always going to be a cup of coffee….which means everything stays the same. You decided no more coffee!  You    don’t want things to remain the same.  Buy a beautiful cup, saucer and tray for your herbal tea and make ‘tea making’ your ritual in the morning.  See how that makes you feel….

To-day is about the practice of self-kindness.  By the way how did you get on reviewing your kind deeds, words and actions yesterday?  Lets explore how kind we are to ourselves.  Imagine if you were to watch and listen to the activity in your own mind-scape…..every thought, idea, judgement call, active memories playing-out in your archive, conversations, lingering dreams and moods you are having;

  • listen to the language you use, is it positive or negative or kinda in between?
  • is your tone of voice hostile, loving and or calm?
  • are you thinking mostly of the past and what could have been, or are you concentrating on the present and living your life as you planned?
  • what thoughts are you having? why? how do they make you feel?
  • are you thinking in a judgmental way about someone? why? how does it make you feel?
  • is the atmosphere in your mind-scape, calm, sad, volatile, anxious, sunny, depressed, joyful, or/and full of excitement and possibility?
  • What words, deeds or actions of kindness would shift the mood?
  • are you berating yourself over lost opportunities, eating that last slice of chocolate cake, missing your run, something you said or did to someone else, something you forgot to do or say to a loved one or colleague, ?

Being kind to yourself boosts your self-esteem, it supports it in every way, as does a deed of kindness towards another.  How we are on the inside radiates on the outside.  As you finish to read this blog, decide to monitor how you are kind or not to yourself.  Decide to be mindful of the language you use, the way you think about others and yourself and observe the effects it has on you. Imagine the effect your words, deeds and actions of kindness would  have on the person you most love.  Now do it for yourself and see how that changes your day.
You write your own scripts.
you think your own thoughts.
You direct your own life.
You have the possibilities to be utterly kind to yourself.
Its your choice….minute by minute….hour by hour…. day by day….there is no magic wand….put in the time and reap the benefits in your own mind-scape.

“If someone in your life talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would have left them long ago.” Carla Gordon
“The truest greatness lies in being kind, the truest wisdom in a happy mind.”  Ella Wheeler Wilcox
“Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind.” Eric Hoffer
“Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profundity.
Kindness in giving creates love.”   Lao Tzu,

Don’t forget to wear your smile……….

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