A Leap for Friendship



The stage is set for all those gals, ladies, women to propose to their man, or woman to woman, on this special day in this leap year, if you want to take advantage of the mythical or not so mythical Irish tradition.  They say that the tradition was initiated by Saint Brigid when she suggested to Saint Patrick that women propose to men on the 29th of February as a way to create gender balance in the in 5th century in Ireland.  If the man refused to marry her he would have to buy her 12 pairs of gloves to cover the absence of a ring.   And Queen Margaret of Scotland (then age five and living in Norway), required that fines be levied if a marriage proposal was refused by the man; compensation ranged from a kiss to £1 to a silk gown, in order to soften the blow.   Take a leap of faith in yourself today and see where it takes you.

Day 29 and no coffee and no desire for it so far!   A major leap for me!

Did you get to read the Oscar Wilde story ‘A Devoted Friend’ from yesterdays blog ‘A Tale of Friendship’?

The title says devoted ‘friend’.

Were they both a friend to the other as in a friendship?

Can you be a friend to another, without they being a friend to you?

Is there a difference between being a friend and being in a friendship?

Are you always available to your friend as they are available to you?

Are you there for them only when it suits you?

Do you stand in judgement of your friend/s?

Do you control the friendship by your availability, arrogance and superiority?

Do you give as much to the friendship as you receive from it?

How do you nourish the friendship?

How do you maintain the friendship?

Do you smile when you think of them?

Do you bring joy and love to your friendships?

Do you express your gratitude for the friendship to your friend/s?

Would you be comfortable to have all your friends to supper or not?

Consider your answers and what they say about you?

People get together for all kinds of reasons and build all levels of friendships.  No matter what age you are there are friendships that end, there are friendships that flourish and there are friendships waiting to happen.  In a lifetime there are people who know you well, and you know well through friendships; there are all kinds and nature of friendships, and all of them are about getting to know the other person, they getting to know you and you getting to know yourself.   Friendship is about treating people the way you would like to be treated.  The Miller in Oscar Wilde’s story ‘The Devoted Friend’ never for a moment expressed any empathy or compassion for Hans his so-called friend.  The Miller’s son had more empathy, compassion, generosity, kindness and understanding than his father had, but those virtues of friendship were not regarded in the Millers home.   The Miller stood in judgement of Hans’s life.   The Miller never took the time to get to know who Hans really was.  He had his own version of who he was.  He did not share his lot with him when he could have.  He did not observe or consider how his superiority effected Hans’s life.   The Miller had wealth, Hans did not.  Hans was the more loving and kind person in the ‘friendship’.  Hans was taken advantage of at every turn and he never said ‘No’ to the Miller.   Hans needed to take care of his garden so that he could buy back all the chattels he sold to survive the winter.  But he didn’t.  Hans told the Miller what he had done and what he wanted to do.  But the Miller did not listen with his heart and manipulated the situation.  He was not a good friend to Hans. The Miller measured and controlled the friendship to suit himself and in the end he was responsible for Hans death.

Friendships effect peoples lives.  Friends effect each others lives.  People matter.   Being actively conscious and aware of how you effect a friendship through your thoughts, words and deeds is a way for you to understand integrity, love, honesty, intimacy, loyalty and joy.   It’s not easy to meet these standards but if you want meaningful friendships then it’s the only option.   It’s what your possible is saying, do you want to listen?

Don’t forget to wear your smile as you leap into your day…….

Even after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
“You owe me.”
Look what happens with
A love like that.
It lights the whole sky.- Hafiz of Persia


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