The morning stage is set on the Riviera and the sun is waiting to see us perform. So maestro what shall we do today?
How about a self-audit in self-trust?
Before that lets see what Wikipedia has to say on trust:
• the willingness of one party (trustor) to be vulnerable to the actions of another party (trustee);
• reasonable expectation (confidence) of the trustor that the trustee will behave in a way beneficial to the trustor;
• risk of harm to the trustor if the trustee will not behave accordingly; and
the absence of trustor’s enforcement or control over actions performed by the trustee.
You are in a relationship or friendship or partnership in a company etc. and say I entrust something that is private in my life or the company with you. I am the trustor and you are the trustee. You meet another person and before you know where you are you have broken the trust and the other person tells me what I entrusted with you. It could be a recipe for the cake that sells best in our company, it could be a patent we are working on, it could be that I have cancer or that I thinking of retiring etc. The bond is broken. I made myself vulnerable by entrusting my story with you and you abused it. You are not trustworthy. How do I feel about that? How do you feel about that? Will there ever be trust between us again?
You tell me you love me and that you want to be with me, you have sworn blind that there is no other one of significance in your life. It transpires through default that you are in a relationship with three other people who love you but they don’t know that you love me and not them or so you say. The other people are vulnerable in telling you they love you. You are vulnerable in telling me you love me. Can you trust yourself, can the others trust you and can I trust you? How does that make me feel? How does that make you feel? Can there ever be trust again between all the parties?
Before we point the finger let’s explore our own levels of trust and how many times have we left ourselves down:
I make a plan, promise etc to do the following:
-to practice piano, football, cello, language, cooking etc and I haven’t done it
-not drink coffee and drink green tea instead
-not eat wheat, dairy products and eat raw food instead
-not eat crappy food ever again and learn about being healthy
-to cook at least five days out of seven for me and mine
-to maximize my income
-to be at peace
-not to struggle
-to smile more
-to exercise at least three times a week
-to go to the doctor, therapist, dentist etc and I haven’t done it
-to be honest in all my communication and dealings with others
-to be honest with myself and monitor how I am doing
-to give up cigarettes and take up chewing seaweed!
-to give up alcohol for a year and take up fresh fruit and vegetable drinks
-to rink 8 glasses of water a day
-go see my parents at least once a month
-to settle my affairs with the taxman and tidy up my life
-to read to my children every night before they go to sleep, if I am not there I will record a story for them
-to take my partner, lover, wife, husband on a picnic come hail or shine once a month
-to learn to sail this year
-to learn to dive this year
-to learn Spanish this year
-to sell my house and travel
-to study more
-to stop cursing and swearing
-to get to grips with my past and attempt to move forward without it getting in my way
-to be free to have that relationship I want
-not to play games with people’s hearts and minds
-to actively look for a man or woman to build a relationship with that brings love, joy and trust to our lives
-to divorce and stop the charade I am living
-to appreciate my partner, lover, husband or wife by becoming pro-active in my expression of it
-to stop fooling myself
-to take charge of my life and not have others telling me how to live
-to write 1,000 words each day towards my novel, biography, etc.
-to paint at least once a week
-to fish every weekend in season with my friends and or family
-to make a list of all I promised my friends, partner, lover, wife, husband, child etc. I would do for them and follow through on each one with joy and love
-to be aware of what I say to people that is not true or honest
-to be aware of my own behaviors, attitudes and habits that trip me up and sabotage my good intentions.
-to be honorable in all that I say and do
-to read books and watch movies that are life-giving and support my good intentions towards others and myself
-to follow my plan so that I can feel good and motivated about my life
-to stop being a miserable and grumpy git
-to practice acts of kindness everyday
-to give gratitude for all that is good in my life
-to watch for the bad fibes I radiate to those around me
-to be consistent in my love of others
-to de-clutter my life of distractions etc.
The list goes on and on depending on what you want from your life, what is going on in your life and who you are being.
To achieve anything you have to trust that you can deliver for you – from the small tasks to the promises you make to yourself and others. Are you going to let excuses stand in your way to being a better person for you and those around you. Is it worth it for you and what do you think it will do for your self-esteem?
To-day make a list of all that you promised others and yourself (past and present) and tick off what you have achieved and what you will achieve. Begin today on monitoring your own levels of self-trust. What love affair or not are you having with yourself?
To finish do we want to just ‘wish’ we could be trustworthy – surely we want to be trustworthy?
What does that entail for you?
“I wish I was the verb ‘to trust’ and never let you down” -Pearl Jam
© Copyright The Possible Self 2012