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Cosmos 10 +

What’s happening in your personal-universe?

 

The Possible Self, TPS, 2015 Dublin City Center  ‘Me Workshop’ begins in February 

The ‘Me Workshop’ is:

– A one-day group workshop February 14th, 8.30am -6pm for a maximum of ten people from any background or stage of life each working on their own visual-map of their life-story.

– A one-day group workshop February 21st, 8.30am -6pm for a maximum of ten business owners/directors, each working on their own visual-map of their company-story.

-Private one to three day workshops for individuals or company owners/directors by appointment.

Neither therapy nor counselling. The Possible Self ‘Me Workshop’ is an innovative and practical way/process for individuals to explore their private-life or their company-story. They explore and discover the events, people, experiences, behaviours, attitudes, habits and patterns that have shaped, nourished and guided them or their company to date, good and bad, and sets out the possibilities for the future.

The one-day workshop is an introductory level of the process. Each person will produce their own personal life-size visual-map of their personal or company -story. They will get a sense of where they are in their life and how they feel about it.  They imagine and articulate where they want to concentrate their attention and resources now and the possibilities for their future.

Company or business owners can attend both days getting to know where they are in their personal-story on day one and doing the same for their company-story on day two.  The process is the same for both. Participants evaluate if their private and business/company lives are in harmony with each other or not and what they could do about it.

”Reacting to life as you experience it without a compass or plan works for some in their personnel and/or work life. We are the same person no matter where we spend our days and nights. Our behaviors, attitudes, habits and patterns affect ourselves, those around us and the work we do, no matter who we are or where we live, ” explains Áinne Burke the founder of ‘The Possible Self’.

”Most of us have arrived at a place in our lives where the rehearsal is over and we don’t want to repeat behaviours, attitudes, thoughts and habits that no longer serve the person we know we can or could be and the life we can and would like to experience. Taking time to explore, discover, and reflect on who you are being and the possibilities for development, celebration and change is a gift to yourself and to those around you. The Possible Self workshops facilitate and support that process.”

For further information and to reserve your place email info@thepossibleself.com

We look forward to meeting you.

www.thepossibleself.com

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http://www.thepossibleself.com

 

Personal New Year’s resolutions come and go every year.  We have great intentions of making meaningful changes to our lives: get fit, eat healthy food, lose weight, be more open about our lives and who we are,  pay more attention to our loved ones, develop better communication skills, develop self-love, be kinder to everyone around us, dive in the Maldives, give gratitude every day for all that is in our life, learn to cook, keep our house tidy, help our children with their homework, climb Kilimanjaro, get more sleep, enjoy work, be more joyful etc. etc. etc.

Every year there are promises we make to ourselves and those around us; scripts and notes are written.  We smile from ear to ear with the great hope and enthusiasm about how wonderful our life is going to be when the changes are implemented.

Some of us succeed in achieving and implementing the changes we plan for in January of every year. Some of us give up on ourselves by mid-February.  We are back living our habitual and mediocre lives; with all its good/bad behaviours, patterns and habits.  Why is it that some of us succeed and others don’t?  Which person are you?

All change requires a conscious decision, a practical plan, a schedule and resources to make it happen; it requires tenacity, inspiration, commitment, responsibility, discipline, self-love, support and most of all dedication on a daily basis.

When you succeed in achieving one of your January resolutions and bask in the glory of its benefits year on year, it gives you the impetus and stimulation to continue in this way for the rest of your life.  You don’t wait for January; change, renewal, awakening, creativity and awareness become an integral part of your daily life.

Life is not always ‘easy’.  Change is not always ‘easy’.  In the beginning it’s hard work to get up each day and be dedicated to being a better person for you and those around you;  to stick to a healthy eating and drinking plan, to get at least 30 minutes of exercise in every day, to stick to a financial budget that will get you to a place of less anxiety and more control over the quality of your  life, to calm your mind for 10 minutes at various times during the day, to see the good in all those around you including yourself every day, to not shout at your children, partner, colleague or staff,  to not roll down your car window and scream at the ‘stupid person’ who crossed into your lane without indicating, to manage the ‘monkey mind chatter’ that does nothing to add to the quality of your life,  to be aware of your moods and how they affect those around you, to make time for you and those you love at various times during the week, to walk the dog, to visit your family and friends, to make time to read, to watch a movie or a game on your own, with family or friends, to study, to walk  etc. etc. etc.

We are fragile, complex and unfathomable humans at times.  Understanding how I have become the person I am helps me to make the changes I want to make and know I can make.  I can then, walk a journey I have planned and chosen, rather than reacting to life on a daily basis. 

In this time of immense change everyone in all walks of life want to find their way forward with enthusiasm and inspiration that gives purpose and meaning to their lives:  in the work place, in the home, in the community, in the country and the world as we know it.  All change starts with the individual and together we can begin to find some security in our minds bodies and spirits in 2013 .

That process of reacting to life as you experience it without a compass or plan works for a few.  Most of us have arrived at a place in our lives where the rehearsal is over and we don’t want to repeat behaviours, actions, dreams, thoughts and habits than no longer serve the life we want to live.

The Possible Self programs and workshops are available to you to make a complete audit of your life through the creation of your own ‘Personal Tree of Life’ from birth to now.  You get to see the events, people and experiences that have shaped, nourished and guided your life to-date, good and bad.  You get to explore the landscape of your mind, body and spirit from the past and in the present.  Once you see your life charted in front of you, you realize that a holistic plan is the only way forward.  You cannot separate physical health from emotional well-being and visa versa.  You cannot learn to take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself.  Awareness and acceptance of what is happening in your life is the first step to making plans for change.

Once you have a practical plan for all areas of your life with realistic schedules,  identified resources and supports for the next few years, you become more motivated and inspired to succeed.  Day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year takes you to where and how you want to be in your life.  Change and personal growth is a continuous process;  it’s life long learning, experiencing and enjoying life in the ‘now’.  It’s your life.  You are the only one who can come to understand it and fix it, in the way that you want it to live it.  The Possible Self programs facilitates and celebrates that process with you.

The process for individuals is much the same as for business’s.  Management and workers create their ‘Companies Tree of Life’ based on its past, where they are now and where they want to take it.

The Possible Self Programs and Workshops

The next ‘one day introductory’ TPS workshops are being scheduled uniquely for individuals:

Monaco:  February 1st 2013

Monaco:  February 8th 2013

Maximum: 12 participants

Companies are booking their in-house week-long TPS workshops from January 14th 2013.

One to one weekly workshops are being scheduled from January 8th 2013 in your home or agreed venues internationally.

For further information and bookings contact info@thepossibleself.com

 

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www.thepossibleself.com

The Possible Self facilitates YOU to take YOU from where YOU are to where YOU want to be in your life.

ME PROGRAM
1 Day Special Offer Introductory Workshop

For whatever reasons it happens, and there are many, we do get stuck, don’t know what to do next.  We get: frustrated, lost, distracted, angry, overwhelmed, sad, baffled, entangled and confused.  We run out of steam, we go off course, it all gets too hard, we get into debt, we leave relationships, we overeat, we acquire money but not purpose.  We all get ‘stuck’ at some stage of our life; personally, professionally or when we retire.  If we give up on our ‘possible self’ we are like the dead woman/man walking.  It is never too late to get excited about your life.  It’s your life and your story.  Where are you in your life and what changes would you like to make?  Make your own bliss!

Saturday November 3rd 2012
Closing date for bookings: October 26th 2012
Location: Grand Hotel du Cap Ferra
Duration: 8.30am–6.30pm
Maximum Participants: 12
For bookings and fee information:info@thepossibleself.com
Mobile: 0033 (0) 618037606
http://www.thepossibleself.com

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www.thepossibleself.com

The morning stage is set on the Riviera and the sun is waiting to see us perform.  So maestro what shall we do today?

How about a self-audit in self-trust?

Before that lets see what Wikipedia has to say on trust:

• the willingness of one party (trustor) to be vulnerable to the actions of another party (trustee);

• reasonable expectation (confidence) of the trustor that the trustee will behave in a way beneficial to the trustor;

• risk of harm to the trustor if the trustee will not behave accordingly; and

the absence of trustor’s enforcement or control over actions performed by the trustee.

Scenarios:

You are in a relationship or friendship or partnership in a company etc. and say I entrust something that is private in my life or the company with you.  I am the trustor and you are the trustee.  You meet another person and before you know where you are you have broken the trust and the other person tells me what I entrusted with you.  It could be a recipe for the cake that sells best in our company, it could be a patent we are working on, it could be that I have cancer or that I thinking of retiring etc.  The bond is broken.  I made myself vulnerable by entrusting my story with you and you abused it.  You are not trustworthy.  How do I feel about that?  How do you feel about that?  Will there ever be trust between us again?

You tell me you love me and that you want to be with me, you have sworn blind that there is no other one of significance in your life.  It transpires through default that you are in a relationship with three other people who love you but they don’t know that you love me and not them or so you say.  The other people are vulnerable in telling you they love you.  You are vulnerable in telling me you love me.  Can you trust yourself, can the others trust you and can I trust you?  How does that make me feel?  How does that make you feel?  Can there ever be trust again between all the parties?

Before we point the finger let’s explore our own levels of trust and how many times have we left ourselves down:

I make a plan, promise etc to do the following:

-to practice piano, football, cello, language, cooking etc and I haven’t done it

-not drink coffee and drink green tea instead

-not eat wheat, dairy products and eat raw food instead

-not eat crappy food ever again and learn about being healthy

-to cook at least five days out of seven for me and mine

-to maximize my income

-to be at peace

-not to struggle

-to smile more

-to exercise at least three times a week

-to go to the doctor, therapist, dentist etc and I haven’t done it

-to be honest in all my communication and dealings with others

-to be honest with myself and monitor how I am doing

-to give up cigarettes and take up chewing seaweed!

-to give up alcohol for a year and take up fresh fruit and vegetable drinks

-to rink 8 glasses of water a day

-go see my parents at least once a month

-to settle my affairs with the taxman and tidy up my life

-to read to my children every night before they go to sleep, if I am not there I will record a story for them

-to take my partner, lover, wife, husband on a picnic come hail or shine once a month

-to learn to sail this year

-to learn to dive this year

-to learn Spanish this year

-to sell my house and travel

-to study more

-to stop cursing and swearing

-to get to grips with my past and attempt to move forward without it getting in my way

-to be free to have that relationship I want

-not to play games with people’s hearts and minds

-to actively look for a man or woman to build a relationship with that brings love, joy and trust to our lives

-to divorce and stop the charade I am living

-to appreciate my partner, lover, husband or wife by becoming pro-active in my expression of it

-to stop fooling myself

-to take charge of my life and not have others telling me how to live

-to write 1,000 words each day towards my novel, biography, etc.

-to paint at least once a week

-to fish every weekend in season with my friends and or family

-to make a list of all I promised my friends, partner, lover, wife, husband, child etc. I would do for them and follow through on each one with joy and love

-to be aware of what I say to people that is not true or honest

-to be aware of my own behaviors, attitudes and habits that trip me up and sabotage my good intentions.

-to be honorable in all that I say and do

-to read books and watch movies that are life-giving and support my good intentions towards others and myself

-to follow my plan so that I can feel good and motivated about my life

-to stop being a miserable and grumpy git

-to practice acts of kindness everyday

-to give gratitude for all that is good in my life

-to watch for the bad fibes I radiate to those around me

-to be consistent in my love of others

-to de-clutter my life of distractions etc.

The list goes on and on depending on what you want from your life, what is going on in your life and who you are being.

To achieve anything you have to trust that you can deliver for you – from the small tasks to the promises you make to yourself and others.  Are you going to let excuses stand in your way to being a better person for you and those around you.  Is it worth it for you and what do you think it will do for your self-esteem?

To-day make a list of all that you promised others and yourself (past and present) and tick off what you have achieved and what you will achieve.  Begin today on monitoring your own levels of self-trust.  What love affair or not are you having with yourself?

To finish do we want to just ‘wish’ we could be trustworthy –  surely we want to be trustworthy?

What does that entail for you?

“I wish I was the verb ‘to trust’ and never let you down” -Pearl Jam

© Copyright The Possible Self 2012

info@thepossibleself.com

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www.thepossibleself.com

Hey Sun, what is going on out there, there are clouds covering you up and winds racing across your face, white horses are galloping on waves and yet you peer through when you get a chance.  You are always there even on a cloudy day.

I had a grand notion I would be sitting in the sun in the port where I live having a green tea and croissant which I do every Friday when I am here.  However, I spent my time chasing napkins, menus and other debris that was flying past, it was all very refreshing, my mind was chasing too with loads of ideas for the last blog on vulnerability and other stuff I am working on.

Vulnerabilities bring negativity into your life: sometimes you feel so exposed you almost fall apart.  We are not Humpty Dumpty’s who fall of the wall and never go back together again.  We fall of our wall and go back together again in better ways if we work through it with awareness and understanding.

Imagine a story where you speak up at work when something is going wrong.  Your colleagues select you to go to management and agreed to back you up.  Well management challenges you and you have a fight on your hands.  Your colleagues see what happens and they let you hang out to dry.  You are as vulnerable as you can be in that situation.

What can happen?

1.  You leave/resign etc.

2. You back down and get on with your job and the bad atmosphere.

3. You take your grievances to the company board of directors; your union or wherever you get yourself heard and supported and you stay working.  You finally get the results you wanted many weeks later.  Conditions for everyone improves.  Your colleagues suck-up to you. You treat them with contempt or you acknowledge their cowardice and you hold no grudge.

Imagine a story where you are in a volatile relationship.  Your partner has a raging temper and gets verbally, emotionally or physical abusive.  You have choices:

  1.  You leave and never come back.
  2. You call the police and have him/her arrested.
  3. You call a friend to come over and give you the support you need.
  4. You take the abuse and take on the roll of the victim and continue to live this way.
  5. You ask him/her to leave and you change the locks.
  6. You ask him/her to leave for 24 hours and to come back when s/he is calm to talk it through.
  7. You ask him/her to leave and not come back until s/he sees a therapist for their anger etc.
  8. Sometimes you can help another but when there is anger you need a trained therapist.  You can agree to support your partner through the process and see where it takes you.

Imagine a third story:

You fall madly in love and become extremely vulnerable to ‘love’.  It takes you on a roller coaster of chemical releases in your body and mind that keeps you on a high you love to be on.  You both are in the same place and open up to each other in ways you have never done before.  You feel safe, secure and supported in the ‘love’ you share.  And then an event happens that crushes the love.  What happens?

  1.  You are in shock.  Not only have you fallen of your horse but also you can’t seem to find him anywhere.
  2. You get angry and express it in all kinds of ways, writing streams of painful essays to yourself and emails to him, leaving telephone messages, telling your friends all about it over and over.
  3. You try to put the fire out and stop what is causing it in the first place.  The heart ache won’t stop
  4. You cry and cry and/or put on your mask to hide your pain.
  5. You get perspective by talking it through with friends or a therapist.  You begin to see the situation and events that lead up to it and you come to terms with your own feelings about it and yourself many, many weeks later and sometimes it takes years for some people to get over the betrayal.
  6. Finally you may ask to meet him or her to understand why.  You listen s/he talks, you talk and s/he listens.  Hopefully it gives you closure or room to negotiate the terms of the ‘relationship’.
  7. Or you never get closure because you do nothing about it and carry it around with you only to repeat it in later life.

All three stories are about vulnerability and where it takes you;  “I am vulnerable, it’s scary as hell but I either learn to cross over this bridge or stay on it for the rest of my life.”  Choose to work through it with awareness and use all your faculties to understand what is happening to you and you will cross over to a new place in yourself, a lighter and brighter place in yourself.  If you choose to be lost to your vulnerabilities and clam up, you will build walls around you that will some day fall in on you?

We are not condemned to suffer.  We are on a live stage all day every day.  We can choose to be a victim, a walk over, someone to be used and or abused in any way by anyone and especially yourself.  Or you can choose to be the hero/heroine of your own story.  How would it feel to be that character on lives stage?   You have developed qualities that will take you through any storm.

Hero’s and heroines are courageous, empathic, compassionate, kind, loving, and fearless, charismatic, and self-loving people.  Practice being that character in your own life and see what happens to you.

Never, ever give up on yourself.   There is more to you than you might see or feel right now if you are in a painful place.  Remember you matter to you and those around you who love and care about you.  Life is an ongoing process, to be stagnant is not good, and to be freely moving is a whole lot better.

“Knock, knock”

“Who is there?’

“The Possible Self.”

“Go away I am miserable”.

“Knock, knock,”

“What?’

“I will always be here for you!”

“OK”

Make it a wonderful weekend and keep on wearing your smile.

©Copyright The Possible Self 2012

info@thepossibleself.com

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www.thepossibleself.com

It’s a cracker of a day here on the Riviera, blue, blue skies and her majesty is high in the sky.  I think sometimes we forget that it’s the same sun that shines on all of us no matter the latitude or longitude we live on.  An awesome planet indeed!

Nature is slowly awakening to her spring warmth.  We have had one of the mildest winters in a very long time.  Perhaps four weeks in all of cold weather where maybe five nights of frost damaged a few small plants, and now I see them slowly come back to life.  It’s a real wonder to watch natures transformation; little buds start to peer up above the clay day by day as they push through taking in the sun and water to nourish their growth.

They smile at us.  Don’t forget to smile back.

What courage these plants demonstrate year after year, despite their vulnerability to weather conditions and sometimes human stupidity, they have nothing to be ashamed of as we witness their resilience, tenacity and a will to survive and dance their dance another time.

We are as vulnerable as the plants are to all kinds of environmental influences: externally and internally.  We have many branches operating in both spheres and all it takes is a word, a thought, a gesture, a deed or an action to evoke sorrow, pain, joy, anger, laughter, sadness, love, hatred etc.  We do it to ourselves, to others and others towards us.  We can have all seasons in one thought or in a lifetime.  As Brené Brown who studies human connections says, some of us  ‘lock and load’ some of our experiences, whilst others let their vulnerabilities be seen.  Vulnerability according to Brené is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.  How breathtaking is that?  When we don’t let out vulnerability be seen, when we wear masks to hide our stories we are no longer truly available to ourselves or to those around us.

There is nothing in our personal story that has not been experienced by others on this planet.  So why hide who we are?  Why hide your experiences?  Why pretend?  Why carry skeletons in the closet?  Why sit in judgment of others when your closet is laden with your own unacknowledged ‘stuff’?  Life is cruel and kind.  Life is difficult and joyous.  We fail and we succeed.  We cry and we laugh.  We are like the plants in all seasons.  We never turn off  ‘til we die.

We are living our own story that charters through very calm, not so calm and rough waters:  “I was a soldier in Afghanistan and I shot other soldiers and civilians, I was abused by the priests when I was a child, my father beat my mother, my father never talked to me as a child, my mother was a drunk, I lived in fear of my father’s anger, my mother never hugged me, my parents abandoned me, my sister was a bully, my brother teased me, my teacher was emotionally cruel to our class and especially to William, I was sexually abused by a family friend, I don’t know how to communicate with my partner or my children, I am too fat, too thin, I have no hair, I have short legs, I am not attractive, I am ugly, I am not tall enough, I am not smart enough, I am not cool enough, I don’t belong to the ‘in’ gang, I am too old, I am too young, I am a loner, I am scared of not achieving, I am afraid the tax man will get me, I was afraid of the bogie man when I was a child, I don’t know how to love myself,  I am mean, I am not truly caring, I am selfish, I am lonely, I am not good in public or in social situations, my background is working class, my background is upper class, my brother is a loser, I am too shy, I am scared of living, I am scared to go for my dreams, what I believed in is no longer true, nobody understands me, I don’t understand myself etc.” 

Chapters and or acts from our real life stories create our vulnerabilities and when we express them we enable others to do the same; “I never knew that about you before, wow, you are so brave to tell me that. So that is why you react like that to Kevin.  Now I understand. Did you know that I was also afraid of my father’s anger and it was not until I was forty years old that I confronted him on it and took back my own power.”  We can smile together and support each other by being vulnerable.  Vulnerable is like the plant that comes up every year despite the frost and the human stupidity and it gets stronger and stronger every year.  We can build real friendships and relationships through this exchange.  Our load lessens, we fell free, the cuffs are off and we are no longer our own prisoner.  When we are aware of our vulnerability we learn about loyalty, trustworthiness, boundaries, honesty, caring, non-judgment, acceptance, courage, creativity, imagination and love of self and your friend/s.

We all have had or still have the gremlin voice telling us “you are not good enough, who do you think you are.”  If we stand up to this voice we can say, “well that might have been the case once upon a time, but no more, I am stepping out on my stage and this time I am bringing all of me, so you can go on a very long holiday because you are no longer welcome in my story.”  If we surrender to the gremlins in our mind, we lock away parts of our story and pretend all is well in our world.  We are afraid of the consequences of someone finding our your ‘stuff’.  We are ashamed of aspects of our story.  We don’t acknowledge or accept who we are.  But if these private and personal worlds stay locked up how can you learn to be empathic and compassionate towards yourself and others.  Keeping yourself under lock and key develops disease in the body and mind, in your voice, in your touch, in your heart, in your mind, in your energy, in how you are with others and yourself.  You radiate this energy to the world around you.  Who are you being?

Who we are being everyday in our own story nourishes or thwarts our self-esteem, self-worth and our confidence.  It takes courage, empathy and compassion to explore, come to know, accept, express and redirect your on-going personal story.  If we all continue to wear masks then the world economies, legislation, governance, social discourse, personal relationships, friendships and our own relationship with ourselves will never find solutions to our challenges.  If each person no matter what role they have in life, from president to the man or woman who sweeps the streets cannot know what it is like to walk in the other persons shoes then they can never understand what it means to be human.

The scripts we write ourselves each day represents who we are.  How real is your script?  How integrated is your story?  Take away the mask and who is there?  How aware are you of your own story and how it affects those around you ?

I strongly suggest that you check out Brené Brown who is a researcher, storyteller and a lot more besides.  She sets our stage for this week’s blog on ‘vulnerability and shame.’

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”  Brené Brown

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.  Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.  Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”   Brené Brown  The Gifts of Imperfection:  Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

“And may be that was love. Being so vulnerable and allowing someone else in so far they could hurt you, but they also give you everything.”  Christine Feehan  Water Bound

“I am stronger than words and I am bigger than the box I’m in, and then I see her in the crowd and I fall apart.” David Levithan

“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”  Criss Jami

“Because he could not afford to fail, he could not afford to trust.”  Joseph Ellis, His Excellency George Washington

“Human beings, whatever their backgrounds, are more open than we think, that their behavior cannot be confidently predicted from their past, that we are all creatures vulnerable to new thoughts, new attitudes.  And while such vulnerability creates all sorts of possibilities, both good and bad, its very existence is exciting. It means that no human being should be written off, no change in thinking deemed impossible.”  Howard Zinn, You can’t be Neutral on a Moving Train: A Personal History of Our Times.

“But, of course, putting yourself out there takes vulnerability. Vulnerability is hard, and we, as a rule, tend to go for what’s easy; by that logic, closing ourselves off is the easiest thing in the world. We quote the words of others to do our talking for us, send each other links to articles and stories in lieu of actual conversation, post pretty pictures to adequately convey our current state of mind, all to avoid having to proffer a single identifiable human emotion. We keep in touch with relatives by emailing them mawkishly inspirational chain letters once in a while. We regurgitate memes to approximate the feeling of being in the loop.”  Phil Roland

©Copyright The Possible Self

info@thepossibleself.com

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www.thepossibleself.com

The sun washed my vista with a white silvery brush this morning and it shimmered and glowed like that for over two hours or so…pure magic!   No coffee needed.

As I walked along the beach this rock became a metaphor for procrastination.  All around us there are open spaces at our disposal. Yet we sometimes dwell inside this rock space accompanied by our past experiences, learnt patterns of behavior, obstructive habits and attitudes that stop our ‘flow’; losses, sadness’s, pains, turmoil’s, terrors that create shocks and tremors in our physical and emotional system throughout our lives, sporadically for some and more often for others.  We might not be concentrating on any one experience but together they just mingle and dance with each other and you cannot get away, you cannot break free.  A party we can’t leave, boring and as miserable as it might be.  Some refer to procrastination as their comfort zone!

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We all process ‘our stuff’ differently through artistic expression, therapy, addictions; drink, legal and illegal drugs, pornography, sport, food, work, sex, anger, resentment etc.  Some of us survive and some learn to thrive.  We all keep on keeping on.  The unexpressed ‘stuff’ dribbles into our days and dreams and is part of what we experience of ourselves and is how others experience us too.  We mirror and reflect our living stories from our personal universe to other personal universes all day long;

“There is Tom over there, he seems a bit down today he is glowing at 20%, he might lose his job, Mary is in full flight, she got a raise yesterday, she is glowing at 70%, Sara is glowing at 10% her mind is at her again, Pedro is in love and glowing at 100%, Peter has his blinds closed and has not been out for days, he lost his daughter and grandchildren in an accident, he is glowing -40%, Susie is fiercely angry because her husband cheated on her, she is glowing at -70%, Lucy gave birth and is glowing at 99%, Patrick has prostrate cancer and is glowing at 70%, he is a fighter and will have a full recovery, Tim got a new contract but is not excited ‘cause his lover left him, he is glowing at -20%, Judith got her exams she is glowing at 99%,  Scott painted his house and is glowing at 90%,  Rebecca who lost her leg and arm at birth learnt to swim today and is glowing at 100%, Ado lost his business, family and his dog, he is glowing at -60%, Ralph got busted for possession of cocaine he is glowing at -20% etc.  Sylvie is getting married and is glowing at 90%, Michel is very depressed  and is glowing at -30%.”


We live in an energy field of +’s and -‘s that never turn off.  Your story is made up of energy and radiates all around you.  It’s you and who you are being.  The same for all of us.  A sea of energies where some hide in the rocks, others sit on them, some swim around them, some go ashore to get well, reflect, find solace and the rest of us go with the currents, tides, weather our storms, and bask in the sunshine.

Chapters, acts, sequences and sentences of our personal story can trip us up, hold us up, imprison us, stop us, curb us, haunt us, terrorize us, disable us at various times in our life.  Aspects of the story get repeated over and over again as we move to the next chapter and the next chapter.  We don’t break the cycle.  We could choose to break the cycle.  If not it will accumulate and go on causing further angst.  If you are dishonest, angry, jealous, deceitful, arrogant etc with others, chances are you are also with yourself and it is coming from some where in your story.  We write characters into film scripts based on peoples lives, sometimes you think you see yourself on screen, or aspects of yourself, and you know how the person on screen could change for the better…. but what about your own story?

Yesterday I introduce the ‘P’ coat you wear which is your procrastination attire.  Imagine that rock out there on the sea is that coat, a tad too heavy to wear you think!  Choose to hang it up, not burn it or flush it away, just hang it where you can see it.  Choose to venture further out to sea in your new imaginary coat, call it what you will.  While you are wearing this coat of your elaborate design, do something today that you have never done before:

Suggestion:
Get out the opposite side of the bed to your normal side.
Wear clean panties on your head.
Wear your dressing gown.
Put one arm in a sling.
Wear two different shoes.
Find music or a talk station on your radio in a language that you have never heard before.
Make yourself an exotic breakfast and lay it on the best tray in the house…include a flower in a jar.
Put the smallest cutlery you have in the house on the tray to eat your breakfast.
Take the tray to a floor where the sun shines or where there is most light.
Get a pad and pencil and take them to your dining place on the floor.
Sit and have a leisurely breakfast.
Each time you take a bite of food, keep on chewing it as you write one word to describe a thought, image etc that comes to your mind. One word one bite.  Chew very slowly.

The panties are still on your head, your hand is in a sling and you are wearing your dressing gown and odd shoes.  You are eating with an egg spoon and writing a word per bite of thoughts that come into your mind, whilst you dine in the sun/light.

Marvelous!

Push away the tray and pad and lay down in the light.
Read your words from your pad and reflect on them.
Close your eyes.
How do you feel?

I did this, this morning, to amuse/entertain myself but to also to explore how changing our patterns affect our behaviors and attitudes about ourselves.

Procrastination is a habit to some, laziness to others and a serious condition that has been developed over time for a lot of people, 20% of the USA population.  Choose to change your daily patterns and see how it affects you.  Do it for three months.  Make a list of how you could change your pattern in small ways to open up other possibilities; write, eat, shake hands with the opposite to your normal way of doing it, walk down the stairs backwards, swim with one arm, chew your food more than normal, wear your shirt back to front, wear two different colored socks, wear mascara on one eye and not the other, wear one ear ring and not the other, switch to cold water during a shower or finish with cold water; it awakens the body etc.

Procrastination needs physical movement not just emotional attention.  If you are doing things different with yourself, the same will happen for you with others.  Creatures of habit are all well and good, but they also create frustration or a feeling of being trapped inside yourself; ”I don’t want to feel like this, I don’t want to behave like that, I know I can do it, I know I can stop playing games with my nearest and dearest, stop hedging my bets, face-up to my vices, start a new chapter.”

 
Put the knickers on your head and enjoy your breakfast wherever you are, it could be for lunch or supper not just breakfast.  It’s worth a try to get you to smile and help yourself to shift your own energy.

“Promise me you will always remember; You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think”  Christopher Robin said to Pooh.  A. A. Milne creator of Winnie the Pooh

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
“It’s the same thing,” he said.”  A. A. Milne creator of Winnie the Pooh

“If we are growing we are always going to be outside our comfort zone” John Maxwell

“If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything” Win Borden

©Copyright The Possible Self 2012
info@thepossibleself.com

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